This article is part of the following series: Dispatches from the pandemic. The COVID pandemic raises new questions about how we engage with one another, with sex becoming a sensitive issue once again. How can one address the issue of sex and intimacy during the coronavirus pandemic, when even a public gathering of a small group has the potential to cause an upheaval? We agree with Rubin that a delicate matter such as sex should be treated with a certain degree of diligence and humbleness. Sex date society queer subjects we both found a home in Berlin. As PhD students at Freie Universität Berlin we share an interest in gender and sexuality within anthropology. Our commonalities made this conversation possible. Yet, what makes it interesting are our differences in terms of personal positionings, theoretical approaches and thematic interests. Max has conducted ethnographic fieldwork at an upmarket hairdressing salon in Berlin, asking how bodies are enacted in intimate encounters within care work settings. In his PhD research, he approaches intimacy as queer affect by investigating how bodies and sexuality are socio-materially transformed through PrEP Pre-Exposure Prophylaxisa new drug that sex date society an effective protection against acquiring HIV. Drawing on our respective personal and academic backgrounds we explore what queer and feminist thinking in anthropology has to offer for an analysis of the current circumstances. How do the heteronormative underpinnings of quarantine affect us in our everyday lives but also in our fantasies and desires? How are sex and physical intimacy moralized, but also creatively reinvented nowadays? And what kind of socialities and imaginations of the future emerge under the present situation? Ursula : This perfectly illustrates how quickly the debate about sexuality has become dichotomized and charged. Additionally, the concept of sex as a basic need also serves to justify and legitimize sexual harassment and in famously legalized rape in marriages in Germany until the s, which also highlights the gendered dimensions of this debate. But neither does punishing sex workers in precarious positions for continuing to work during this pandemic. So instead of asking why sex workers cannot or do not want to stop working, even during a pandemic, and opening up a discussion about the multiple intersections of sexuality, intimacy and economy, this supposed relevance reinscribes the idea of a system in which sexual urges need to be fulfilled at all costs. Max : It would indeed be short-sighted to conceive of sex per se as natural, especially with regard to the negative consequences for already marginalized groups. Instead of telling people what not to do and feel, in my opinion it is more important to first try to understand why people do not or cannot adhere to the current advice by public health institutions. Ursula : It is also interesting to note how quickly — also in queer communities — ideas about monogamy find their way into current debates, by condemning sex that does not happen within the sanctioned space of coupledom. Max : Like public events, non-monogamous sex is cancelled until further sex date society and projected towards a future where things go back to normal. For example, one can find so many memes on gay social media, imagining and dreaming about huge orgies as soon as we are post-crisis. But I think we could even go further than just non-monogamous sex, when we think about the reinforcement of certain normativities in the name of a normal future. Recent measures and calls to StayAtHome unquestioningly treat the home as a safe space. It is true that home might protect you from the coronavirus, but it is sex date society from being a place of mental and physical integrity for each and every one. And the current increase in domestic violence again shows that home does not automatically constitute safety. Also, when we speak of domestic violence, people often think about an abusive husband in a heterosexual marriage, but this goes much further. Relationships between parents and children can likewise be problematic and full of conflict, which might escalate quickly in the current situation. Among others, I am thinking here about queer kids who are suddenly stuck with parents who are not supportive of their children. More generally, this pandemic challenges common understandings of how and with whom we meet and share space or territory, if one thinks of those stranded at the borders of Europewhat kind of bonds we have with different sets of persons and in what ways the sharing of space does or does not produce safety and mental health. Ursula : On the other hand, I am sex date society yet again fascinated by how quickly we can adapt to rapidly changing circumstances. Which again might not be new at all to some people, for example immunocompromised people who are told to practice physical distancing with or without coronavirus Soncco Further, restrictions of public gatherings already were and now even more so are a reality under different political regimes. Which serves as a reminder that despite the necessity of critical engagement with current containment measures in Germany we have to equally critically reflect our understandings of limitations and restrictions. This is the reason why we do not hear about it as it puts the people involved in more danger than we currently face for not following corona guidelines, but people have found a way to do it pun intended. In that sense, this projection of the fulfilment of sexual desires into a post-corona future avoids the question of how to engage safely with each other during this crisis, limiting options to flourish now. To wait is to eliminate the hap by accepting the inheritance of its elimination. You make happen. Or you create the ground on which things can happen in alternative ways. I also read a post online where a guy fantasized about being fucked doggy-style, while his anonymous sex partner is wearing a face mask. Ursula : Exactly, this challenges certain normative understandings of connections between sexuality and intimacy. Suddenly practices like shaking hands, touching or kissing, which are associated with intimacy, became dangerous and a potential source of infection, and an anonymous quickie in certain positions or some BDSM practices that do not require physical touch hold less of a risk of infection — although I want to add that I am not a medical doctor or virologist, so this is pure speculation. Max : Maybe we will become kinkier in times of corona… I think your example also brings us to a less romanticized, less vanilla definition of intimacy, if intimacy is not presented as the opposite to kink.
Facialmetric similarities mediate mate choice: sexual imprinting on opposite-sex parents
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